Use This Simple Tactic to Overcome Defensive Communication
Breakdown in communication is the root of so many failed relationships or friendships.
Despite there being probably millions of different self-help books on this subject, many of the people I work with need an immediate and practical solution to this problem.
De-escalation of the issue is the primary need and waiting for weeks to get through a self help book might not be where to start, although I would certainly recommend it for continued care because habits take hard work to break.
First I will tell you the concept that you are working with to overcome communication breakdown, then I will tell you the solution. I highly recommend not skipping the concept, because it helps to understand WHY this works.
Concept: Problems exist completely separate from the people experiencing them
The reason that defensiveness happens in the first place, is rooted in feelings of shame that are often so triggering from past trauma, that a protection mechanism has been put into place so that these feelings are replaced with anger.
Individuals who find themselves defensive, are having an emotional reaction that is triggered by feelings of vulnerability.
