Recounting My First Sexual Experience

Looking back as an adult, into my teenage coming of age.

Tina Simpson

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When I was growing up, I had no idea what power my body held.

I remember my mom, telling me to pull my top back over my shoulders, and stop speaking slyly to my cousin. I could feel this fire inside of me growing and it felt great. My legs were getting longer, and my hair was growing wild. My girlfriends would clamber around me in a bubble of laughter, and I was on top of the world. Life was exciting and I was beautiful, and I knew it.

I finally understood life. I am real.

Here I am.

I have this new amazing body. My legs are long and lean, I have new curves in my hips and my breasts were budding. My excitement for the next adventure brimming at the surface of my slightly piqued smile.

I knew I wanted something special, for that first time. I was thinking about how exciting, and how adult I would feel, when someone else wanted to kiss me, and to touch me in ways that were forbidden.

I connected with a boy who I had a huge crush on, and we entered a relationship. Light petting turned to heavy petting, and we were getting closer to figuring out what sexual touching was all about. I would stroke his penis so gently because I was afraid to hurt him. Meanwhile he was trembling with so much pleasure from another human being acknowledging that his arousal was so enticing.

We planned our first sex date very carefully. We wanted to make sure that we were not interrupted, and that we were really ready. We would go to his house, when his mom was away at work. She was a single mom, so we didn’t have to worry about two parents schedules. We planned for after school.

I rode the bus to his house and we were both nervous as we got off. We had done this a hundred times before, but this time was different. We went straight up to his room and closed the door. We looked at each other in the eyes. The excitement and simultaneous fear at this new adventure, swimming in our gaze.

I grabbed the condom from my bag and put it beside us. The foreplay preceding this moment lasting 6 months as we embarked on the conversations leading up to this moment. We started…

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Tina Simpson

Mediator. Supporting humans making healthy connections with each other. Anti-violence and high risk Social Services provider. Lover of eccentric brains. ❤️