I Caved and Took the Blue Pill

Here’s what happened

Photo by Roman Davydko on Unsplash

Pills, Pills, Pills.

Endless alternate realities tease the tips of our fingers, as they lay within arms reach.

This fascination is not my own. Billions of dollars are invested globally, in the amazing race to manufacture the perfect human experience.

Too sad? Take this one.

Too hyper? This blue pill over here should work.

Can’t sleep? I got just the thing for you.

I will start this article with the caveat that there IS a time and place for medication and I am by no means against science that saves lives. I personally work with people who are only alive today BECAUSE of medication so I strongly reinforce that in writing this, I am not coming from a place of judgement. Science has a strong place in my heart for saving the lives of many of my loved ones.

My observations come from the infatuation of avoidance, that embeds our culture.

I am the greatest hypocrite of all.

I will write these words transparently admitting that I embrace the comfort that comes with inviting chemicals into my body, that alleviate the eternal itches of the body and mind.

This one experience, caught me off guard.

I have recently been diagnosed with adult ADHD. I found deep comfort in knowing that there was a tribe of people out there, that understood my life experience completely.

I am not being ignorant or rude when I cannot remember that we met. It is actually the way my brain stores and recalls information, that is the foundation of why I can be considered flippant. If you are not in my life in the present moment, or had some massive impact on me, my brain files your image and our memories, in a place that I cannot retrieve.

I can sift through tons of information efficiently. I can connect dots that other people cannot see. I can fixate on something intensely until it is PERFECT. Does my gift outweigh the costs that come with it, in this sacred balance we call life?

I wanted to see.